To the Sea Read online

‘She is. Lots tried.’

  ‘So why you, Charlie?’

  ‘Dunno. Like I said, I’ve known Zoe for ages. One night at a party, we were dancing and, I don’t know, we just hooked up. And then I called her the next day and we started being together.’

  ‘Why that party?’

  Charlie looked blank.

  ‘You’ve been friends with Zoe since grade seven and then suddenly five years later, you hook up at a party?’

  ‘I’ve liked Zoe for a while. Quite a while. I like her more than I did when we were twelve.’ Charlie looked at Tony. ‘Do I have to spell this out for you? Come on, man. You know how it is. I’d liked Zoe for a long time but she still just saw me as her friend. But I kept trying. That night I tried my luck like I’d been doing for ages but this time it worked.’

  ‘At this party, was Zoe drinking?’

  ‘Yeah.’ Something dawned on Charlie. ‘But not like you’re thinking. She wasn’t drunk. I didn’t take advantage of her or anything.’ He sat up straight, looking nervous.

  Tony smiled to himself. Charlie Morgan couldn’t take advantage of anyone.

  ‘I’m not suggesting you did, Charlie, but Zoe’s parents told me that Zoe doesn’t drink.’

  ‘Yeah, well my parents would say that too. Zoe drinks at parties and stuff. Everyone does.’ Charlie seemed to suddenly remember where he was. ‘Is that a crime? It is, isn’t it?’

  ‘I’m not here to deal with underage drinking. I just want straight answers. Same goes for my next questions. Did Zoe take any other drugs?’

  ‘Jesus. Maybe I do need a lawyer,’ said Charlie. He looked at Tony’s hands and the notepad on the table but Tony had put the pen down some time ago. He was just listening. ‘I never saw her smoke weed. She thought stoners were boring. I know she had some pills a few times. We both did. She had speed once but said she didn’t want to do it again. Didn’t like the edginess of it. She didn’t take anything else that I know of while we were together.’

  ‘What sort of pills?’

  ‘Grinders.’ Charlie was looking uncomfortable again. ‘Ecstasy.’

  Tony knew what grinders were but was surprised that Charlie did. And more surprised that ecstasy was still around. Speed was the party drug of choice for kids in Hobart. Ecstasy was much harder to lay your hands on. Why weren’t Charlie and his friends buying speed from local dealers like everyone else? Maybe they were moving in unusual circles and accessing a better calibre of dealer. Rich kids and all their opportunities.

  ‘And are you still taking them?’ asked Tony.

  He should have let it be. It didn’t matter.

  ‘I haven’t taken any illegal substance again.’

  Fat chance. ‘Good to hear. So Zoe sounds like a normal seventeen year old. The impression I’ve been given by her family and teachers is that she wasn’t like the other girls. A bit of a loner. Why do you think that is?’

  ‘Zoe is a bit of a loner. But not in a weird way. She’s just happy doing things by herself sometimes. She sails a lot and she plays music by herself. None of us are really into classical music. But Zoe is.’

  ‘You know, Charlie, I’m a bit confused. Zoe’s parents told me that she didn’t have a boyfriend. Never had one. Why do you think that is?’

  ‘Zoe didn’t want her parents to know about us. I don’t know why. She just didn’t so I went along with it.’

  ‘Do you know her parents?’

  ‘Yeah, course. I’ve been to Zoe’s place plenty of times. Like I said, Zoe and I have been friends since grade seven.’

  ‘Do you know any of Zoe’s brothers and sisters?’

  ‘No. Never met them. Her brothers and sisters are way older and I think they all live on the mainland. I don’t think Zoe sees them very often. She never talks about them or anything.’

  ‘So all of your friends knew that you and Zoe were together?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘And your parents?’

  ‘Yeah,’ said Charlie. ‘I was with Zoe a lot. It was pretty obvious.’

  ‘But it seems it wasn’t obvious to Mr and Mrs Kennett. Didn’t you think they would find out eventually? Wouldn’t your parents mention it?’

  ‘The Kennetts don’t really hang out with the other parents much. They’re a lot older. My granddad knows Mr Kennett. Zoe’s dad is like, seventy-five or something.’

  ‘Is there any reason her parents wouldn’t want you to be Zoe’s boyfriend?’

  ‘Not as far as I know. I’ve always got on OK with Mr Kennett.’

  ‘And Mrs Kennett?’

  Charlie paused before answering. ‘I don’t know her very well. She’s a bit, I don’t know. I just don’t know her very well.’

  ‘Some people have described Mrs Kennett as strange,’ said Tony. ‘Would you agree with that?’

  ‘Yeah. I guess. She’s always been really nice to me but I could never really talk to her. She talks to Zoe mostly and no one else can join in with that.’

  ‘Why’s that?’

  ‘Mrs Kennett and Zoe talk to each other in Irish.’

  ‘Zoe speaks Irish? Gaelic?’

  ‘Yeah. I guess it’s Gaelic.’

  ‘Have you ever been down to Zoe’s shack, Rosetta?’

  ‘Shack? Have you seen it?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘My mum was hoping Zoe and I would get married one day just so she could hang out down at Rosetta.’ Charlie gave a nervous laugh. He desperately wanted Tony to smile to show he knew how hard all this was. Tony smiled.

  ‘Yeah,’ Charlie continued. ‘I’ve been there lots of times.’

  ‘Ever without Zoe’s parents being there?’

  ‘Once.’

  ‘For the same reason you went to your shack at Orford?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘When was this?’

  ‘In the September school holidays. Not long before Zoe and I broke up. We just went down for the day.’

  ‘Did Zoe’s parents know?’

  ‘I doubt it.’

  ‘Did anything unusual happen while you were there?’ asked Tony.

  ‘How did you know?’ asked Charlie. He was looking at Tony, clearly impressed with the detective’s knowledge.

  ‘Just tell me what happened,’ said Tony, trying to sound like he knew the answer already.

  ‘Zoe and I went for a walk. We walked to this kind of gazebo on a cliff on Zoe’s property. It’s an amazing spot.’

  ‘I know the place.’

  ‘Well, we were standing pretty close to the edge of the cliff and Zoe dared me to jump into the water. She said she would jump too. She told me she’d done it before and that the water was really deep, no rocks, and that it was an awesome thing to do. She said she would save me but obviously that was bullshit. That cliff has got to be forty metres high and there’s nowhere to come back into shore. There was no way I was jumping. I didn’t really believe Zoe had ever jumped off it. It looked like a good suicide spot to me. Anyway, Zoe took off all her clothes and said, “Come with me.” I was just looking at her, not believing what she was saying. Then she just walked up to the edge and dived off.’

  Charlie ran his hand through his hair.

  ‘I looked over and saw her hit the water and then she disappeared. The water was choppy and there was a fair swell. I completely freaked out. After a couple of minutes, she surfaced quite a way further down along the point. She was a long way out. I was screaming out to her to come back into shore, even though I had no idea where she could get out. It’s a sheer cliff face. She waved to me, I think, and started swimming further out. I was really scared that she was caught in a rip. She must’ve been at least a k offshore and I just lost her in the swell and the glare. I was terrified she would end up in the channel. I didn’t know what to do. I waited for ages but she didn’t come back and she was nowhere near the point. I decided to go back to the house and get a jet-ski or kayak and go after her. I got back to the house and was standing on the lawn, still freaking out, wondering how to get into the boatsheds,
when I saw Zoe coming in from way out on the edge of the channel. I raced down to the jetty and waited, hoping she could make it all the way in. She was still a long way out and I was praying I wouldn’t have to swim out to rescue her. But she was moving so fast, I couldn’t believe it. She must have been in an on-shore rip. She climbed up onto the jetty. I took my jacket off and wrapped it around her because she was blue, even though she said she wasn’t cold, and we went back up to the house. That was the scariest thing I have ever seen anyone do but Zoe wasn’t scared at all. We went inside and we stayed at Rosetta while Zoe dried off and then we went back to town.’

  ‘Did you talk about what happened?’ asked Tony.

  ‘Not really. Zoe wouldn’t speak. I went apeshit. I was yelling at her, telling her how crazy she was and that she could’ve killed herself or drowned out there but she wouldn’t listen or talk. I thought I was going to hit her or something.’

  ‘And did you?’

  ‘No.’ Charlie looked over at Rob and then back at Tony. ‘But there was something else.’

  Charlie stared at Tony for a full minute before he spoke.

  ‘This might sound crazy but here goes.’ He took a deep breath and dropped his eyes to the table. ‘After we went into the house, and I was yelling and screaming, we did it. You know. And it was like nothing we had ever done before. Zoe was like a different person. Maybe it was the adrenalin or she was in shock or something. I don’t know. But it was insane.’

  They sat looking at each other.

  ‘Charlie,’ said Tony. ‘Do you have any idea where Zoe might be?’

  ‘I’ve been thinking about it a lot ever since I heard she was missing.’ He was shaking his head slowly as he spoke. ‘But no. I don’t think she’d just disappear.’

  ‘You can’t think of anything that would make Zoe feel she had to run away? Could she possibly be pregnant?’

  Charlie’s eyes stayed steadily looking ahead but Tony could see that he was shocked by the idea and that it hadn’t occurred to him before. It took a long time for him to answer.

  ‘No,’ he was firm and clear. ‘We were very careful.’

  ‘Mistakes happen.’

  Charlie sat deep in thought for some time.

  ‘Even if we did make a mistake, why would Zoe run away? If she wanted to have the baby, her parents would probably be pretty good about it. Eventually. They’re nice people. She had to know I’d do the right thing. If she wanted to get rid of it, that’s easy to do. She wouldn’t run away.’

  ‘So was the call from the police a shock for you?’

  ‘No. Annabel posted the news on Facebook that morning when the cops,’ he corrected himself, ‘when the police called her.’

  ‘Lots of talk on Facebook about it?’

  ‘Heaps.’

  ‘Anyone got any ideas or suggestions where she might be?’

  ‘Lots of talk but most of it’s rubbish. People talk a lot of crap on Facebook.’

  ‘Would you sit with one of my officers and show them the pages where you have seen comments about Zoe?’

  ‘Now?’

  ‘If Zoe’s in danger, the sooner we find her, the better.’

  ‘Is that legal? Can I go online and visit all my friends’ pages with a cop looking over my shoulder?’

  ‘Yes, Charlie. It’s legal.’

  Charlie was thinking it all through.

  ‘Yeah, OK,’ he said finally.

  Tony made sure the bare essentials of the interview were in his notes. Most of what they talked about was missing. He showed it to Charlie who read it and nodded his approval.

  Charlie shook hands with Rob and thanked him before the AA left, then he stood waiting for Tony to tell him what to do next.

  Tony liked this kid. He’d told Tony everything he could. He wanted Tony to find Zoe. Tony pulled out a business card and handed it to Charlie.

  ‘If you think of anything that may be of any help at all, or you hear from Zoe, please call me. Any time. I don’t sleep much.’

  Charlie took the card. Studying it, he began walking slowly out of the room, but stopped in the doorway and turned back to face Tony.

  ‘If I’d jumped, do you think that would’ve made me the one?’

  He was asking Tony man to man. Tony could see Charlie on top of that cliff. He could have died. But Tony knew that if Zoe asked him again, Charlie would run at that cliff edge and jump.

  ‘I’m the wrong person to ask,’ replied Tony. ‘I still don’t know why Amy stopped loving me.’

  Man to man.

  Tony remembered what it was like having a girlfriend at seventeen. He could still feel all the uncertainty and excitement of it. Having a girlfriend wasn’t hard. His mum made it harder than it needed to be but maybe all mums did that. His mates’ Australian mums were a lot easier going than Tony’s but not so easy going that his mates didn’t have to lie and sneak around just like he had.

  The whole dating thing was pretty straightforward. But the sex was hard. Tony now knew that it was hard for every seventeen-year-old schoolboy.

  But it changed as he got older. He remembered the first time Amy stayed the night at his house. It was a new experience. There were a few things going in its favour at that time. He already felt something different for Amy. And whatever it was, it was powerful. He wouldn’t have called it love just then but it was on the way.

  She was a nurse who he’d literally bumped into. The Royal Hobart Hospital was directly across the road from Police Headquarters in Liverpool Street where he’d been at a late debriefing session. The car park closed at ten and if you were one minute late, your car was in overnight and you’d be thirty-five dollars plus a taxi fare out of pocket in the morning.

  He was running into the covered laneway leading to the car park lift when he ran straight into a nurse. She was racing to the lift for the same reason as Tony. They met head-on at the laneway corner. They didn’t fall over but it was a hard bump and their heads had banged together. She dropped her bag and Tony dropped a folder of notes. They apologised and commiserated with each other as they kept on moving towards the lift. As they stood in the slow-moving smelly lift, they kept apologising and laughing. She was lovely. Slim and dainty, almost boyish, with short shiny black hair shaped around her pale heart-shaped face like a helmet. And soft green eyes. So big in her small delicate face. Tony’s floor came first. He couldn’t stay. He had to get to his car. As the lift door opened, he pulled out his police business card and gave it to her.

  ‘Call me.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because I really want you to,’ he said as the door closed.

  He ran to his car and drove out almost on the click of ten. He didn’t wait to see if the pretty nurse made it out in time. He wanted to see if she would call him. She did.

  It wasn’t that Amy was the first girl he’d brought back to his little house in Sandy Bay. But she was different.

  He was looking forward to waking up with her beside him in the early morning sunshine. He was already looking forward to making coffee for them and sharing breakfast together.

  As a boy, sex had always been rushed and nervous. Great in its own way but frenetic. He’d been missing almost everything except the basics. He discovered the deep, generous pleasures of grown-up sex with Amy. He was able to enjoy the slow building mood of the night. They could do it as noisily and as often as they wanted. For as long as they wanted. They could fall asleep without fear of being discovered by hysterical parents or annoying friends. He remembered waking from deep sleep sometime in the black of late night and Amy was there beside him, her arms stretched above her head like a sleek cat. And all he had to do was slide his hands over her in the dark. He felt her body stir to his touch and her legs gently open to him even before she wakened.

  He wondered how it was for Charlie and Zoe. Maybe a bit better at their shacks, but still Tony bet it was distracted and panicky. Parents have a way of turning up at the most unlikely times. And even if they didn’t turn up, you couldn�
�t help but keep expecting them anyway. And neighbours. Why did neighbours at shacks always feel the need to pop over and check that everything was all right? He felt for Charlie and Zoe. In just a few years, they would share their hearts and their bodies with other people in ways they couldn’t yet imagine. New partners would get the best of them.

  But it seemed Charlie had had a taste of something more than the usual that day at Rosetta. What kind of seventeen-year-old girl was Zoe Kennett? To not come shivering and stumbling out of that cold ocean, broken and in shock. To not be washed up on the shore of Driving Sound with her life drained away but instead to stride naked out of that enormous ocean like Aphrodite and make love to her enthralled boyfriend.

  Tony didn’t know exactly what had happened that afternoon at Rosetta when Charlie and Zoe went into the house, but he knew Charlie would live in its shadow for a long time. Maybe forever.

  Paul was at his desk. Tony couldn’t see Narelle but she would be close.

  ‘Terri says thanks for letting me have this morning, boss,’ said Paul, looking up as Tony came into the office.

  ‘And I’ll make sure you’re home in time for dinner tonight, too.’

  ‘The commander’s in.’

  Commander Ryan would not be in on a Saturday morning in the middle of the holidays if there wasn’t a problem.

  ‘He’s in his office and he wants a word,’ Paul was watching Tony. ‘Wasn’t in his usual lather.’ Paul smiled. ‘Not yet anyway.’

  Tony didn’t need a word with Ryan. The interview with Charlie had taken longer than he’d expected and he was running late. He should have left for Rosetta half an hour ago. And now Ryan. Hopefully he was in one of his ‘just listen and then piss off’ moods.

  ‘Do you want us to wait for you, boss?’ asked Paul.

  ‘Give me twenty minutes. If I’m not out by then, you two head off. The Sorell boys should be there by then. You lead.’

  ‘Sure. Boss, don’t let him get to you. Just ignore him.’

  ‘He’s my commander. I can’t ignore him.’

  ‘The price you pay for being such a smartarse and becoming a DI. I told you to stay down in the pits with us sergeants. If it gets out of hand, do you want me to come and rescue you? I’m bigger than you are. And a better fighter.’